We were to be tested in Geography that day. With only 10 minutes left, would I make it? Why was “Tujhe dekha to yeh jaana sanam” playing in my head? Had everyone else finished writing? Oh no, wait, there was K, the class dunce, with his notebook open too. That didn’t bode too well for me, did it? Hey, who was that who just passed by, in the corridor? Teri baahon me mar jaayein hummmmm… “5 more minutes, everyone!” announced Mr. RM. Oh shit! I began scribbling frantically in my notebook. “4th question? Just 2 more. Come on, babe!” I looked up and blinked into his face. Did he just call me a babe? A BABE! That was, like, the ultimate compliment! He thought I was a babe! Visions of him and me, running around trees, holding hands, laughing, singing a hit song, flooded my mind. Someone was shaking me. Shoo! Not now. We were about to exchange garlands and become husband and wife forever and ever and ever… Someone was saying something somewhat remotely pertinent to me “Time’s up, my dear. Submit your notebook. Come on now.” Oh well. Love demanded such sacrifices, I thought as I submitted my notebook.
That night, I realized that there was only one way to ensure our future together. You guessed right – the FLAMES test. For those of you who do not know what that is (Are you kidding me? You don’t know? Please don’t ever say it out loud unless you are feeling suicidal.) contact me; I shall explain it at length to you. For now you need to know what the alphabets stand for. F – Friendship, L – Love, A – Affection, M – Marriage, E – Enemies, S – Sex. (What’re you sniggering at?) No matter how many times I went through with it, the result was always the same – E. We could end up with M but we’d both have to change our names drastically. I rubbished the whole FLAMES business and went back to blissfully daydreaming about him.
The next day in school, he looked nervous. What was the matter with him? During the second hour, as I was about to drop off to sleep, I received a jab in the back and a note. “Meet me near the big tree behind our block in the lunch break. Top secret! – N” He sent me a note! Suddenly, life was much more exciting. Come lunch break and I waited with bated breath at the tree. He stood facing me, apprehensive. “I don’t know how to say this” he began, “I have a crush on S!” he exclaimed. WHAT! That sickening vixen! He had a crush on HER? “Will you talk to her for me? Please! You’re the only girl I feel is not a typical girl. I mean, you are a girl, but, I don’t know. Anyway, just tell her that I like her and ask her if she likes me. No, don’t ask her that! I mean, I don’t know. So, will you?” He expected me to talk to that cheap cow on his behalf? I was so mad with rage that I wanted to punch his face hard enough to break his nose, then hit him with a spinning kick to his torso and then give him the old one-two. But I wasn’t going to do that. I was far too noble for such heinous acts. I smiled a sweet smile as I stamped on his foot, delivered a double fisted blow to his back as he was bent over and topped it off with a sharp kick to his groin.
But things have been just peachy since then. Not a single fight, not a single disagreement, in fact, not a single word has been spoken between us till date. Talk about perfect endings! :/
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